Hello darkness my old friend... (2013)
I am horrible when it comes to expressing myself in words, let alone to be confident enough to express them by opinions in public.
Since i was young, i was thought to push everything down and deal with it quietly (like all Asians do lol). I grew up feeling like a rebel, struggling in the deep pond of emotions, unable to word out my thoughts.
Let's be real. I am a pessimist and I am comfortable with it. I am also a fucking shy person. I get fidgety and sweaty when people initiate conversations with me. Maybe i have a social anxiety? I'm not sure. But i would like to fix this!
I couldn't find a better time to face my fears till now ( like after 27 years?!). I came up with a list of things of actions to try and make my 2017 a year of self discovery and change.
- I know this might sound like i'm using my issues to just obtain attention from others. One thing for sure is that I am afraid of facing a camera for even just a second. I must be crazy to want to list this down but I want to experience vlogging as it is a good idea to keep a record of my journey as a freelance illustrator while also overcoming my shyness.
- I am not confident in my ability to provide tutorials. I tend to go off track during my lessons. Perhaps I should try a short tutorial to get things started.
- I want to be able to share more than just painting or freelancing. Perhaps i could try sharing my experience with food and skincare as well?
These are some of the things I can think of as of now. I'm being hopeful to stay brave, take more risks and most importantly for the best.
I'm looking forward to discover more about myself.
To you who read this
: Thank you for listening, being part of my slow journey.
And to my future self
: I hope you get your back fixed and please be kind to your self!